Starkit is better than everyone else
by XxCanadaxX
Summary: My sarcastic take on Starkit's prophecy. Storyline and characters belong to XDarkrosesX. Rated T just in case.
1. Prolouge

A nameless blue she cat stared into a pool. Something dark floated to the surface.

"Oh! Fish!" She grabbed the dark object and nommed it."Bleh! That doesn't taste like fish."

"How many times do I have to tell you Bluestar?" Oh, so the nameless cat does have a name. "Don't eat mysterious dark objects." The huge white tom mewed. "That could have been a prophecy!"

"Out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly." Bluestar mewwed absentmindedly

"Retard." Muttered a golden tom.

"JAYFEATHER MUST NOM!" Bluestar screeched. "Or is it Jayfeather must know..."

The goldent cat sighed. "How is she still alive?" He whispered to the white cat as Bluestar pranced around, chanting in latin.

"I have no idea, Lionheart." Oh, so you finally decided to reveal the cats identity. We had _no _idea who it was.

"OH JAYFEATHER I HAVE A PROPHECY FOR YOU." She yelled.

"We must stop her." Whitestorm mewed. Wow we sure didn't know who that cat was either.

"Meh." Lionheart mehed. "Let her have her fun. No ones going to listen to her."


	2. Chapter 1: The rose of a Heroin(The drug

Starkit woke up to see the sunlight in the branches. _IN _the branches, the branches could magically capture sunlight.

"Sweetie." Oh, I didn't know cats knew what that meant. "It's time to get up. Today's an important day." Said her mother, Dawnsparkle, which is by far the stupidest name ever. The cats don't even know what sparkle means. Dawnsparkle was obviously neglecting her other kits, Redkit and Lakekit, who don't show up until later.

"What is it mom?" Starkit woke up right away. Wait, I thought she was already awake. Then the kit remembered what day it was.

"Oh mi gosh." So the cats believe in God now? Wow. "It's my ceremony today!" She squealed excitedly. She pranced outside, not waiting for her mom. How _dare_ her. How can she not wait for her mom? She is so special and defiant. But her mom caught up to her quick.

"Sweety, you know the clan cats don't accept cats like us sometimes." Let's try to make the story ominous by saying something that is vague and then explain it in the next sentence. Starkit glared. She didn't lake being told that. Awwww poor Starkit she didn't _lake _it. Just because her mother was Shadowclanian and her dad was Jayfeather. Wait...WHAT? Seriously people. First of all Jayfeather is a grump of a cat and would never take a mate let alone a Shadowclanian mate!

"Starpaw come here." Firestar was so excited he used her apprentice name before she was even apprenticed. He said it from the leg. Thats's right, they used Graystripe's leg as the announcement place. Firestar jumped down. Wow, I didn't know Graystripe's leg was that tall. "Starkit, it is time for you to become an apprentice. Naw sh*t sherlock "You are a strong and brave cat and because of that I will mentor you. Everybody gasped. She heard her mother say "Wow." Fireheart liked her shoulder. I thought it was Firestar. He liked her shoulder ALOT. It was such a nice shoulder. He whispered in her ear. "You'll be the best thier ever was, Starpaw. I know it." Meanwhile, Redkit and Lakekit started crying since they didn't get an apprentice ceremony.

Surprised she walked away when they were done howling for her. I'd be surprised to if a group of cats started _howling. _Then, she went to Jayfeather and Dawnsparkle, who were very proud.

"Daughter, we're very happy but we have to say something." He said, chest puffed out. "You see, there is this prophecy." No, I don't see. "Starclan gave me it. It says that out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly."

Starpaw gasped. What does it mean. I don't know maybe...THAT TIGERSTAR AND HOLLYLEAF ARE EVIL! IDOITS!

Lionheart and Whitestorm look down at Thunderclan.

"This is terrible." Said Whitestorm. "Jayfeather was actually stupid enough to think the prophecy is real and his retarded daughter will save the clans.

"What has Bluestar done?" Lionheart complained.

Bluestar came up, prancing. She chanted "ET DESCENDENT UNICORNES CUM GARO, PETEANT!" Which means, the unicorns will destroy every pickle, in latin"What is she saying?" Whitestorm asked.

"I have no idea." Lionheart answered. "But I do know this, Starkit will singlehandedly destroy Thunderclan with her stupidity."


End file.
